Week 20

(I started this writing project for myself, straight from my soul to mind, no editing or trying to make it look right or correct. So, if you are all into the grammar thing, carry on with your life like I don't exist. This project is called 10 min a day.)

10 min a day Sunday 24/03/2019

Breath.

10 min a day Monday 25/03/2019

I think financial security is the main reason that women stay in an unhappy relationship. And the fear.

The fear that she could not make it on her own.

The fear that she could not pay her own bills.

The fear that she could not afford her rent.

The fear that she could not be able to buy her food.

The fear that she could not be able to buy her travel card.

The fear that she could not afford to go out for dinner with her friends.

The fear that she could not afford time off.

The fear that she could not afford to buy a favourite tea.

The fear that she could not afford her favourite chocolate.

The fear that she will not get paid on time.

The fear that she will not have enough money on her account for all direct debits.

The fear of asking for help.

The fear of failing.

The fear of being embarrassed after failing.

But guess what, it is scary, it is very very scary of deciding to do something on your own. It's scary to bring decision like this when you are 30+ because no matter how modern your environment is, society is expecting you to get married and set up your own family. It's scary to explain why this did not happen and it's even scarier to answer the question, will this ever happen. It's a scary world out there. But I think, it does not matter how scared we are, because I personally, would rather be scared on my own, than being scared in a relationship.

10 min a day Tuesday 26/03/2019

I am quite scared and feel like I am getting bored with myself with all this fear shit. Everyone is scared of something, it just looks like I have been scared a lot lately. In moments like this my amazing mother come to my mind. She always said something like this, “when I will be scared of a mouse, I will carry a cat in my pocket.” I have not understood this for years and only recently I finally got it. Being scared after bad dreams, waking up on my own in the dark, I tried to remember what would my cat be. It's called a lamp. So, now before I go to bed I turn on my lamp. It's a gift from one of my dearest friends and just love it. What is your cat? Until tomorrow, may the light be with you.

10 min a day Wednesday 27/03/2019

I was looking tea grow cold. By Ruth from Keeper of the Lost Things.

10 min a day Thursday 28/03/2019

I finish reading another book by Ruth Hogan called Queenie Malone’s Paradise Hotel. I am so impressed with how someone could be such a master in storytelling. This lady just showed me how the story could be done. I love it. Anyway. I still have so much work to do.

10 min a day Friday 29/02/2019

I had to attend an interesting course for my work today. But what happened afterwards was much more important. It doesn't happen often, or not even occasionally, maybe rare, even so, if it happened the first time, that colleagues sit together and have a relaxed afternoon. Why we don’t do it every Friday, like everyone working in central London it's probably related to the fact that we all are working outside of London and on different locations. The people who commute on a daily basis can imagine that it's just not practical, especially if it's out of your travelling route. All that I want to say before I close my eyes for tonight is: The World needs more man’s who are feminists at the same time as being boyfriends, partners, husbands.

10 min a day 30/03/2019 Saturday

My friend's husband gave me a lift to Ikea this morning. I had this idea to create a home office for ages. As someone who will potentially work from home, at some point in her life, I will definitely need one. I know exactly which desk I wanted so the shopping was quite easy. I must say I never had such a relaxing few hours in Ikea like today. Maybe it was due to the fact that we were there before they even opened, which means when open, we were there first. Anyway, only when I got home and open the box with the desk I realised that I do not have any screwdrivers. Well only one, the cross one. I send few texts to several friends if someone could get me any, but it was Saturday so did not expect for anyone to really bring it to me.

Rest of the day I spend out shooting an amazing pregnant lady. I don’t know but shooting a pregnancy photo session is one of my favourites. Well, I love weddings too, and elopements too. I can’t really decide which one is my favourite, I love all of it. It is such a nice feeling when a client says to you, do whatever you want, we trust you. My heart was so happy and I could sing. Instead of this, I was just being clumsy. And I enjoyed it so much. Not being clumsy, just taking pictures. I hope in the future I would be able to shoot every weekend because it makes me happy a lot.