Week No14

(I started this writing project for myself, straight from my soul to mind, no editing or trying to make it look right or correct. So, if you are all into the grammar thing, carry on with your life like I don't exist. This project is called 10 min a day.)

10 min a day 10/02/2019 Sunday

Ffs. There is something that is telling me I am going backwards. That I am in the same place even if I know I am not. I can’t be. It can’t be. I have done so much. I did it myself.

10 min a day 11/02/2019 Monday

Time for me.

10 min a day 12/02/2019 Tuesday

It feels like I am walking in the circle. Except that I have to do more and more. And more. And more. And more. And more. More.

10 min a day 13/02/2019 Wednesday

I wonder do you guys walk around the planet and making people lives harder deliberately? Honestly, are you capable of walking around the planet and making people lives harder deliberately? I mean does making someone's life harder make you happy? Or smart? Or something else? I honestly do not get it. Do you cause problems every time when you go to the restaurant, the GP or gym? Do you make people who work on reception apologize for the work that they suppose to do? Do you make people who work on reception apologise for your own mistakes? I mean really? How far you are capable to go to prove your right just for the sake of proofing it? All my thoughts today were about wondering why people kick off for something so small? And I heard so many different cases, really awful ones and simply do not get why should someone behave so badly? The only reason that I can find is that something must be in the air, I mean what the hell it could be? What else could cause people to keep want you to apologize for the things that you haven't even done? Gosh, I hope we will all be fine because how everything is looking, is not how it's should be.

10 min a day 14/02/2019 Thursday

After a good cry in my writing chair and writing the whole story, I decided that this “10 minutes a day” does not deserve to be wasted for an event of such matter. I am speechless. Anyway, after all this cry and cup of hot tea, I got distracted by this smell. Very nice smell. It's just come into my head, from gods know where. A very familiar smell. It was sort of perfume, the perfume of his. Just the fact that there was no perfume or him. I could smell him, just like he would just walk out from his car to grab something, except that I was in the flat in London, alone. The man that I respected so much, the man who supported me like no one before, the man who had me like no one before, the man who gave me more than a partner or a boyfriend. The man who was always at the back in the dark, but at the same time so close that he could stab me. He did, from the back and from the dark.

Filling the same sort of pain, except that the light was on this time, I still haven’t seen it coming.

10 min a day 15/02/2019 Friday

What to say when you should not say it.

What to say when the only words you can say are how sad you are.

Disappointed.

Shocked.

Confused.

Scared.

Angry.

10 min a day 16/02/2019 Saturday

Meeting new people was always one of my favourite things. I love it. I can’t understand people who have trouble meeting new people. I mean, I am very sorry that they feel like that. I am more sort of, omg I haven't seen you for the whole of my life, what have you been doing, where have you been living, working, etc. It's funny. And nice. And exciting too. I love meeting new people. Did I already say that?